The situation with these immigrant refugees is getting out of hand. Our great and prosperous country has allowed a handful of them into our borders but word has quickly spread amongst their kind and more and more of them are arriving with their strange language and backwards culture.
We don’t understand them. Why are these people always sick and appear so dirty? Our families are afraid of their sections of town and we are worried that we will catch some of their foreign diseases. None of us are sure what happened and why they are fleeing their home country but it seems like they are taking our jobs.
One of the biggest problems with these foreigners is their lack of education. It seems like they are driven to crime because they just do not respect the law of the land – maybe they are incapable of understanding our laws. If they want to live in our country they need to speak the right language. Once they learn how to speak properly then they can start learning how to behave here in the land of the free.
We have seen these refugees looting and pillaging but our government is not doing anything about it. These undocumented workers just show up on our shores expecting a hand out. And to make matters worse some of my countrymen are encouraging and welcoming these thieves as they arrive off the boats.
Another thing is these guys are bringing their religion with them. They seem very aggressive and disrespectful the way they are acting. You would think that they would be thankful that we have let them into our country and that would be enough but no – they are pushing their beliefs on us. Some of these immigrants have even said that their religion is better than ours.
Enough is enough. Maybe the worst aspect of this mess is unmarried immigrant men trying to take our women. Not only are many of them criminals but some are rapists. A 12 year old girl of our nation named Matoaka has been taken hostage in their ghetto they call Jamestown. The immigrants are calling her Pocahontas and are holding her against her will. We are negotiating her release.
They are unable to last through a winter and we have seen them eating their own dead to survive. It is absolutely disgusting. Some of our people have taken pity upon them and have developed a food bank program to sustain them through the winter. The immigrants go berserk when we cook them wild turkey and vegetables – we have never seen them so thankful.
It has been decided that our nation will grant them asylum and harbour them here for now. If they have nowhere else to go then we must grant them safety. We have allowed some of the more civilised Europeans to live among us and learn our culture and ways. The seedier factions must remain in their shanty town near the water.
Our medicine men have said that these prickly faced people have arrived here for a reason so we will see how things turn out. We are hopeful that we can teach them how to live in harmony with creation but they are very slow learners. They have a knack for chopping down trees. Their giant canoes and fire sticks are very impressive.
-Anonymous Powhatan Indian, 1612
Editor’s note: This is a fictional satire piece that illustrates the trouble that comes when we exhibit a negative attitude towards refugees. Imagine what may have happened to European settlers if First Nations peoples didn’t grant them asylum? Now is the time to be open-minded about how we may help others in need.
